Bad habits are so hard to break. I was a smoker for about 30 years and couldn't seem to break the habit no matter what I tried. Every now and then, I was able to quite for a few weeks, but then, when I started smoking again, I smoked far more than I did before I quit. It wasn't until I accepted the fact that my smoking was a real problem and reached out for professional help with quitting. I started going to counseling and learned a lot about my bad habits and why it was so hard for me to give them up. This blog is all about counseling to break bad habits.
Were you or your spouse involved in an emotional affair? If so, you may be wondering if there is any hope for your relationship. Perhaps there is still love there, but you are likely facing a slew of emotions and the trust in your relationship may be at an all-time low. It is possible to recover from an emotional affair and have a healthy and meaningful relationship. The following are a few things that can be done to help your relationship.
Be selective about who you spend your leisure time with.
Some people look back over the events surrounding their emotional affairs and realize that their friends played a role in the affairs escalating. You need to take responsibility for your actions, but if you have friends who cheat on their spouses, it may be time to limit association with them. This is because they may not view cheating as wrong or they may view it as something that is to be expected. Their lax views on the subject may eventually lead to you no longer viewing emotional cheating as serious. Think of the old adage, "birds of a feather flock together."
If you are forced to be around the person you had the emotional affair with, you also need to watch your association with them. For example, if the affair was with a co-worker, you may be forced to still see them at work, but you should not be having lunch with them, and you should limit or avoid casual talk because feelings could resurface.
Be honest with your partner about all aspects of the affair.
Perhaps you find it hard to discuss the affair if you are the person who cheated. Keep in mind that divulging certain details and hiding others could cause pain in the future for your spouse if they ever discover that you were not completely honest. Allow your spouse to ask specific questions about the affair. This is likely not going to be a comfortable experience, but by telling the truth now, you may not have to "revisit" the details of the affair again.
Be realistic about your own limitations and seek professional help accordingly.
Some couples have good intentions of salvaging their relationships after emotional affairs have been discovered and ended. However, the lingering hurt and trust issues that may follow an emotional affair can make it difficult or impossible for some couples to resolve on their own. Marriage counseling is the best resource to use if things do not appear to be getting better. Cues that professional intervention may be needed are emotional and verbal disconnect between spouses, arguments or fights about the affair, or snooping in each other's personal belongings looking for signs of an affair.
Share22 March 2016
